Conversations in my head

You've had a rough new year.

Oh crap.
I don't have time
for you right now.

You got me wrong, dude.
I'm not here to give you a hard time.

Really?

Yeah.  You're not the only one changing.
Don't get me wrong.  I'm still gonna be there
making your life miserable as much as I can.
But for now, I'm telling you, you get a pass.

I don't trust you.

Dude, I don't expect you to, but
we're all rooting for you.

All?

Yeah.  Thin Me is here and Fat Me too.

Thin Me: Hey.

Fat Me: Hiya.

Hey guys.

I'm still confused.

Look.  We've been watching you and...

Thin Me: Hey before we get going here, we
gotta give you a name.

Fat me: How about Left Hand Guy?

Left Hand Guy: I can live with that.
As I was saying, we've been watching you.

FM: You're changing.

TM: You're growing.

FM: No fat jokes! Oh, I get what
you're saying. Never mind.

LHG: And whether we like it or not, we're along for the ride

I still don't understand.
What are you doing here?

Why are you all talking to me?

FM: Well, first off, it sounds like you need some help.
My job would have been to feed you food.  But...

TM: I've been able to talk him out of it, for the most part.

FM: And I've been listening to TM.

LHG: And I just don't have the heart to kick a man when
he's down.  Well, actually I do, but these other
two have been keeping me in check.

Ok. Sure. Life has been stressful. I appreciate

the break guys, but...
this is a little crazy.
Even for me.

ALL: But we heard what you said, Kevin.

What?

FM: To the mirror.

TM: When you usually say to yourself, that
you have kind eyes.

LHG: But tonight you said...

You have sad eyes.

LHG: Yes.

TM: And we just thought...

FM: That you needed a hug.

Ok.  This is really getting weird.

Did I take my pills this morning?

FM: You really don't get it do you?

LHG: You're the one who said that we are ME.

Yeah, but...

TM: There is no but.  Whether you like it or not
we are US, we are WE. And
you're getting a reprieve.

LHG: And I have to tell you, I'm surprised with you.

Why?

LHG: Because FM has been knocking at your door
for two weeks and you've not given him a lot of  face time.

FM: I don't mind.  Actually I think it's a good thing.
I just wanted to let you know I was there if you
needed me.

Um. Thanks?

FM: No probs.

LHG: And you've been ignoring me, except
for that whole fear of financial ruin thing.  I admit that
was low, even for me.

TM: LHG, you really are a jerk.

LHG: I know, but we're not here to talk about me.
We're here to talk about ME.

But, how are we gonna give us a hug?

TM: It's a metaphor, dum dum.

LHG: Oooo there's something I want to say here,
but I'll hold our tongue.

FM: I wish I had brought ice cream.

TM: Well, that's our cue.  Time for us to go.

Really? I was just getting getting used

to the fact that we were talking to us.

LHG:  All the better to stop before people
start thinking you're strange in the head.

FM:  Rocky Road, Cookie Dough.  Ooo, I know, Butter Brickle.

TM: We gotta go.

FM: I'll be here if you need me, but I don't
think you will.

LHG: And remember, I'll be back, and
I'm still a jerk.  But if you can change,
I'm only going to change with you.

TM: He doesn't really have a choice.

FM: None of us do.  You're the one in driver's seat.

ALL: And let your eyes be sad. Sad is not bad.

Ok guys.  I'm not sure what to say.

ALL: Don't worry about it.