Conversations in my head

So, you're back on "the program" are you?

Yeah.

Feeling good?

Yeah.

Doing ok so far?

Mostly, yeah.

You're not going to be able to do it, day in and day out.

I know.

You're eventually gonna eat more than you should.

I know.

You're gonna have days where you just don't want to exercise.

I know.

You're going to screw up.

I know.

You are going to fail.

I know.

You a...what?

I know all these things.

I'm not perfect.

  We're not perfect.

So why do it?

Because most days, I will eat right.

Most days I will exercise.

Most days I will be good enough.

Most days I will succeed.

Yeah, but "most days" means some days you will fall.
And I'll be right there to make you feel like shit.

I know.

Aren't you scared?

Yeah.  But I do not fear you.

Dude, don't you get it?

I'm in a better place.

I can look at you and not fear you.

I know you now better than I ever have.

Sure I'm scared that it won't work in the end, but

I do not fear trying.

I do not fear facing you and

Telling you to go to hell 

When I need to.

I won't make it easy for you.

I wouldn't expect anything less.

You are a part of me.

You always will be.

But, what I've decided...

What?

I've decided that I'm not doing
This to prove you wrong.

I'm doing it for me.  

And you.

Me?

Yeah.
You serve a purpose. You make me

Question. Inquire. Challenge. 

Learn. Live. Love.

You are not evil.

You + me = ME.

And I'm ready

To make ME

Something new.

Something old.

Something real.

Something happy.

You're a tool.

Ha!

I know.  So are you.

You coming?