So, we've all been there. Stress so overwhelming and food so comforting. It has not been an easy week. My stress eating has been rather controlled, but today I am losing it.
Because of a reduction of income, I've needed to drop out of my medically supervised "rapid" weight loss program at the hospital. I just can't afford the $80/week in supplements and classwork or the $65/mo medical check in any more. And I really miss the weekly encouragement and having someone to talk to. So I guess Clydesdale Jog will be evolving into my place to check in and talk about wellness far beyond just running.
So here are the stats. In August 2008 I started the program at 310 lbs and did no exercise. By May 2009, I had lost 50 pounds and started running on the Couch to 5K program. By August I had lost another 15 pounds, but in September I started a medication garunteed to put on the weight. 20 pounds in that month. It was during that time that events around me started exploding and the stress has been continuous since then. I am now back to 285. But I run and I am more mindful of what I eat. Having met this online group of bloggers, I feel a certain accountability to MYSELF that I haven't felt in over a year.
Thanks to all of you who have dropped by and left comments. It has been more helpful than you know.
An additional source that could be helpful to you is sparkpeople.com. I use it for food and exercise tracking, and there's a big running community there, including several C25K groups.
ReplyDeleteIt's a freebie. My local geographic area has their own chapter and we actually get together for dinners, scheduled walks, and other activities.
Weirdly, we're mostly former schoolteachers... LOL
It's rough that you've had to drop out of your program, but the Sparkpeople suggestion is a good one - I know lits of people use it and value it. I know it's difficult to stay on track when there's so much distraction and worry everywhere else, but in many ways it's the one thing you can guarantee control over when everything else is going to shit - at least the running is free, and so are a lot of running groups. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteKeep asking for help and it will keep finding it's way to you. There are online programs that are more affordable that might keep you on track or simply call upon your fellow bloggers for support (like you've been doing). Do you read Jack Sh*t Gettin' Fit? He's great and funny and knows a bunch of, well, sh*t! Don't let the stress win CJ. Stay focused, stay healthy. It's the ONLY way to get through hard times!
ReplyDeleteI know, it sucks. It's rough and hard and *almost* impossible, to be honest, I'm surprised that people actually succeed at losing it and keeping it off.
ReplyDeleteThe comment you left me is exactly how I'm feeling right now. How do you crawl into my head? (Are you sure you're 285lbs?) Do you magically shrink down into a mini man?
Anyway, we just have to keep trucking. I could give you a bunch of 'motivational comments', but I'm not sure what good that will do you - you already know you can do it, it's just a matter of trying to reoccupy that space in our heads we once did when we were losing.
I am relatively new to your blog and don't know you well, but I will say this: you have everything you need, right inside yourself. You can trust yourself. You are okay and enough right this very minute. Self-acceptance doesn't have to wait (in fact, it shouldn't wait) until you've reached some magical number on the scale. Self acceptance right now is what will get you to where you want to be. And self acceptance right now does not mean "giving up" and and therein lies the paradox: we must must must MUST love and accept ourselves right this very minute in order to make ourselves healthier and slimmer in the future. Being content in this moment does not translate into not improving. We can't turn hate for ourselves into loving ourselves...we can't torture ourselves into relaxation and confidence. Love begets more love. Confidence begets more confidence.
ReplyDeleteYou're running and you know how to eat and what you should be eating. You can do this. period. You've set goals. You ran a race when others were, in my opinion, rude.
ReplyDeleteYou can do this.
And how much better are you going to feel when you see that you didn't need to spend all of that money to do it!