Brain: Ok, lets get started. I think you know why we're all here but for the benefit of the newcomers, Hips--everyone say hi to Hips.
Everyone: Hi Hips.
Hips: Good to be here.
Brain: As I was saying, we're here to figure out our strategy in keeping the Clydesdale Jogger from his exercise and wellness this week. Who wants to go first?
Calves: Well, I'm thinking of cramping up on the left and working with Ankles on the right to ache where he broke some bones some time ago.
Ankles: Yeah.
Brain: Right, so the same thing as last week and the week before. Anything new?
Calves: No, not really. But I'm still trying to talk Arches into taking one for the team but he's a coward.
Arches: Hey!
Brain: Ok then. What else?
Stomach: I'm going to try pretending I'm empty, but I'm going to need some help from upstairs.
Brain: You got it. How about you Tongue?
Tongue: Mmm?
Brain: I'd like you to want salty, greasy, crunchy things, Ok?
Tongue: Mmm Hmm.
Brain: Great. Anyone else?
Hips: Well, we're new here, but we think you all know about our work during his last 5K. We surprised him quite a bit and we think so long as we stay a little tender, he's gonna flake out.
Brain: Sounds like a plan Hips, and we don't use the Royal We here.
Hips: Sorry.
Brain: Right. And everyone remembers that Knees is taking the month off so he doesn't get suspicious?
Everyone: Yes.
Thighs: Hey Brain, if you can get him to forget his Bodyglide (R), I'll do my best to chafe. He really hates that.
Brain: You got it. Arms?
Arms: What
Brain: What will you do if this is the week he decides to start the 6 weeks to 100 pushups program?
Arms: Hurt
Brain: Good man. Economy of words. I like it. Ok then, I'll do my best to sabotage his self esteem (Belly Fat I'm looking to you for some support there), distract him with all the stress in his life (a lucky break for us), and pretty much make him think of food all the time. Any questions?
Clydesdale Jogger: Yeah, I have a question. Why wasn't I invited to this party?
Brain: Oh crap. He's on to us. Well boys, it was good while it lasted.
Lol - that made me laugh. Sometimes it's good to make light of the crappy stuff. Good to hear you're still pushing ahead, although do look after yourself if you've got injuries that are nagging - maybe swim or something as well, to give thema break between runs.
ReplyDeleteOh nicely done!
ReplyDeleteI swear I can hear my knees and hips having that conversation...
So glad it's not just me!
ReplyDeleteMake them pay for their treasonous words. Push ups all around!
ReplyDeleteHave a good weekend!
You got me laughing today! I love it! And they can gang up all they want but guess what? YOU are in charge buster, so tell them all to collectively go to hell. You're running this show.
ReplyDeleteBrain: What will you do if this is the week he decides to start the 6 weeks to 100 pushups program?
ReplyDeleteArms: Hurt
A day later, this still makes me laugh. My arms and brain were having this exact conversation this morning.