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I live with depression.  And that life is made better, in part, with the wonders of medication.  It allows me to rise above the melancholy just enough that I can begin to work at my cognitive adaptations and skill-set in dealing with my condition.  Without meds, I am adrift.  With meds, I am on course.

My last two posts have had a certain..desperation to them; a certain frenzied grasp at any handle that would help me make sense of my direction.  Indeed, last week I was mired in a great deal of despair.  I was feeling low, small and unimportant.  I felt weak and not up to the task of working towards health.  Last Thursday, especially, was bad, including a full on binge and shame.  I was lost.

Unbeknownst to me, I had gone a week without the aid of modern chemistry.  I had forgotten to put a singular medication in my daily dosage pill box and never noticed all week.  The missed medication is really the foundation upon which all my medication is built upon, so it is no wonder that I was unbalanced.

I've not given up.  I've had a setback.  And I understand what happened last week.  And last Thursday.  There has been damage done to my pride, my waistline and to my self esteem.  But I will not quit.

I do believe.