Isn't it interesting how all the parts seem to come together just when you think you'll never figure it out. Just when I decide to share that I am in a desperate need to "be real" with myself, along come two friends to help find ways of making that happen.
Most of you will know that Jack Sh*t picked up my last post and shared it with his readers. Most of my new readers undoubtedly came via his blog and I am grateful for all the kind and encouraging words shared with me. Seriously. I hadn't really considered taking a break from my running or my diet, just a break from blogging as it didn't seem to be doing the job. I wasn't sure anymore what I wanted to share or what my purpose of keeping a journal of my ups and downs was anymore. Having had such a positive response I feel re-energized to keep writing, though I still feel a certain struggle to find the right or "real" voice that I want to share. But I'll keep plugging along. I have a race report to write and a few ideas of what I can do down the pike.
My other friend from over at Saints & Spinners read my post and emailed me a link to a TED video (I love TED) about keeping one's goals to one's self. As she put it in her email, it was absolutely liberating. In essence, psychologists are learning that when one shares one's goal with another person, the psyche immediately gets the impression that the goal is met. Perhaps there is a reward system built into the sharing that makes this so, I don't know. All I know is that it immediately made perfect sense. How many times have I shared with friends certain goals and then immediately find rationalizations as to why this doughnut doesn't count or that slice of pizza isn't what I meant? I think there is some truth to this notion and I'm testing it with a simple, secret goal. 36 hours and I've yet to break it.
Enjoy the video and, if you get a chance, check out Saints and Spinners. She writes a story telling blog, not a fitness blog, but I find her posts to be most enjoyable.
THIS is what I've been looking for! I could not figure out WHY I keep sabotaging myself every time I brag about a goal. I've noticed others having the same problem. I've sat and thought and thought and sat and now here it is. This.is.it.
ReplyDeleteI hope the awareness will be enough to help me overcome it. This is brilliant!
Thank you!
Oh, and is that a bow tie you're wearing in your picture in the sidebar? Cuz it's really fantastically cute. Don't tell my husband I said so.
I have been afraid of goals for as long as I can remember!! And I always felt like such a jerk when, having announced my goal like all the other seemingly normal people, the mental brakes would go screaming on and I'd do everything to sabotage myself!
ReplyDeleteI'll share this quickly: in 2005-2006 I lost 55 pounds and thought I had it all figured out. I then went on to regain a little more than half of it. I started blogging in 2009 with the idea that I could do this MY way...I knew at the very core of myself that diets don't work and that my body could come to its natural and healthy weight without struggle. I just didn't know what it looked like...and so I explored and wrote...and wrote and explored and lo and behold...it's happening! It was hard because I could feel all those rolling eyes behind my back but I stuck with what *I* wanted to be true for me.
So you're going on my blog reader Mr. Clydesdale...let's do this!
Aw, thanks for the shout-out! I am glad about the moment of grace with Jack Sh*t picking up your post, too.
ReplyDeleteHi CJ, I am one of those folks from JSGF. But I want to put you on my list of blogs I read cause you really have a good writing style, one that really speaks. Don't waste the talent.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing wrong with having a holding pattern while you get your head in the right place. Who knows why we go off the boil sometimes with our healthy eating / healthy living ways - it's a right pain but look at it this way - you haven't put on everything you lost, and you're stable at the moment - so that's positive. I understand how you feel in many ways - I spent all last year losing weight, and then a holiday caused me to put some back on at the beginning of the year, and after that I got completely stuck until July - I couldn't get going and I was so frustrated. I kept blogging, but I eventually realised what you have, that what I said on my blog was often a different reality to what was actually happening. It wasn't just on the blog - I eventually realised that I was lying to myself too, and after a period of readjustment I starting being far more honest, and lo and behold, I found myself gradually haading back on track. The irony was, that when it was worst and I wrote a rare honest post about how badly I was struggling the support I got was totally uplifting - looking back I wish I'd been able to be more honest all along, as it may have got me out of my rut earlier. Please, please don't give up on all your hard work.
ReplyDeleteInteresting video. And he makes a good point. I definitely tell people stuff to make myself feel good about my goals. That's what we attention seeking whores do best! (I'm talking about me an the other whores out there, not you! :))
ReplyDeleteThe mind mistakes the talking for the doing....
As for your voice, just pour it from the gut mister. Aim to please no one but yourself. We'll be here, reading.
This video has started me thinking. I think it's all about action. Action, action, action. I wish Nike didn't create the "Just do it" slogan, because now it's so cliche. Perhaps all of the talking and thinking I've been doing about doing the work to lose is making my mind/body think that I've already done it. Aren't we complicated creatures.
ReplyDelete@LP, yes that is a bow tie. Bow ties are cool. :^) and you are welcome. I'm glad the video was helpful.
ReplyDelete@KCLA You're on!
@S&S Thank you again for sending me the vid!
@Rae You make me blush!
@Lucas Thank you for being here. I do appreciate it.
@Starfish Thank you for sharing your struggle and plateau. It has been a year long for me, but life really took me for a loop. Not an excuse, but certainly an explanation. I am experiencing that same uplifting spirit now that I have shared (and Jack Sh*t decided to tell everyone because up to now my readership has been 3)
@Jen We certainly are complicated...and confusing...and contradictory...I think there is a lot of wisdom in realizing that thinking and talking may trick the subconscious into thinking it is the same as doing. Just do it has become a cliche, but it is true nevertheless.
Thank you all for stopping by.