It would seem that I am finally getting back into shape. Last evening I finished week 6 of the Couch to 5K program with a 2 mile, 25 minute run. And I knew soon after I started that it was going to be a good, hard run. Last summer, at this time, I was 40 pounds lighter and was running 3 miles per run, 3 to 4 times a week. It is definately harder work to run this summer with the extra weight, but the feelings of accomplishment are actually greater because of it.
There was a moment when the nasty negative self talk showed his ugly face. As I was running through the neighborhood, a gentleman made small talk with me as I passed. Something about his crabgrass and whether or not I wanted any. He was pleasant enough. He must be a runner as well because, as I passed, he said "You've got a good pace there." And my immediate thought was "yeah, for a fat man." Why? WHY? Truth is I had actually been thinking that I was keeping a good pace despite the extra weight, but the former thoughts were in the positive vein. But as soon as someone else said it, I immediately had to qualify it with such a nasty, self-defeating comment.
The good news is, I nipped it in the bud just as soon as I thought it and shook it off before I had even passed the edge of his property.
Beyond that one incident, the last few runs have been wonderful. Long runs (for now, a solid 25 minute run is a long run) take a lot of effort from me and it feels so good to be done. It's begining to feel good as I do it too, though, and that was a sign last year that a page was turning. I was becoming a runner then, and I'm rediscovering it now. Unfortunately, my wife's health has prevented her from being able to join me and I am sorry for that lost companionship on these runs. That pang of loneliness is the only mar on some otherwise great workouts.
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