Today I threw away half my fries. And I refrained from picking up the glob of tuna salad that fell out of my sammich and eating that too.
Is this what progress looks like?
Showing posts with label Goals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Goals. Show all posts
6/2/11
11/15/10
Counting vs Knowing
In my last post, I mentioned that I'm not going to count calories. I'm going to "know calories." That distinction is important to me. I know that if I count calories to some predefined limit, I will chafe and rebel. I know that, once meet that predefined limit, I will look at the rest of the day as depriving myself. I know that when I cross that limit, I will not control myself but instead will say "what the hell, I blew it anyway. Where's that bag of chips and, oh, how about just a pint of dip this time?" I know myself well enough. It's one reason why points don't work for me either.
But, knowing what calories I've taken in makes a huge difference. It's about being mindful. It's about learning. It's about paying attention. It's a completely different mindset. And it works. I'm learning about how the little bites of everything add up, and add up fast. I'm mindful of what I decide to eat. I plan ahead.
I know what is going on.
It's hard to describe in words what I'm experiencing. A "rebirth" is much too dramatic. A "revelation" is over stating it too. I'm experiencing...growth. I'm experiencing...control. And it is rather exciting. Sure I've already had days where I went way over what was healthy, but I know by how much I did and I can wrestle with the questions of why and, more importantly, if I really want to do that again. What's more, this approach seems to fit better with my personality and the way I process information. It's putting things in a structure, a system, that makes sense (to me at least).
I honestly did not know just how many calories I was putting into my body when I binge. And now that I have that little piece of information, or know how I can go about finding it, I have something to make an informed decision with. Sure, I did read the nutritional guides on the sides of things, and that does in a pinch. Using livestrong.com, however, brings it all in to sharp focus as it tallys and displays the information for me. I do wonder if I will have the discipline to continue doing this.
So far, so good.
But, knowing what calories I've taken in makes a huge difference. It's about being mindful. It's about learning. It's about paying attention. It's a completely different mindset. And it works. I'm learning about how the little bites of everything add up, and add up fast. I'm mindful of what I decide to eat. I plan ahead.
I know what is going on.
It's hard to describe in words what I'm experiencing. A "rebirth" is much too dramatic. A "revelation" is over stating it too. I'm experiencing...growth. I'm experiencing...control. And it is rather exciting. Sure I've already had days where I went way over what was healthy, but I know by how much I did and I can wrestle with the questions of why and, more importantly, if I really want to do that again. What's more, this approach seems to fit better with my personality and the way I process information. It's putting things in a structure, a system, that makes sense (to me at least).
I honestly did not know just how many calories I was putting into my body when I binge. And now that I have that little piece of information, or know how I can go about finding it, I have something to make an informed decision with. Sure, I did read the nutritional guides on the sides of things, and that does in a pinch. Using livestrong.com, however, brings it all in to sharp focus as it tallys and displays the information for me. I do wonder if I will have the discipline to continue doing this.
So far, so good.
9/21/10
Race Report -- New Directions 5K
First off, I don't know how to write a proper race report. Second, this really wasn't a proper race. Ok, now that we have that taken care of, let me tell you a story.
The New Directions program at the local hospital is a medically supervised "rapid" weight loss program that I have been trying to follow for the last two years. It really is a good program when I choose to not sabotage myself. The merits of a medically supervised program certainly has its pros and cons. But that's not what is important right now. What is important is that every September the program holds a 5K fun run for its clients and their families
There were 12 runners this year. Of the twelve, I believe I was the only client to run that was still in "weight loss" mode. Others were either family or had made it to "maintenance" mode. It certainly seemed to me that I was the largest person to actually attempt to run. Now, last year it seemed that the runners included up to 30 runners and I placed pretty much mid pack. I was also 50 pounds lighter. How I gained weight while faithfully participating in a medically supervised "rapid" weight loss program is another story and isn't important right now. What is important is that this year, with only 12, I ran dead last. Most who ran last year chose instead to participate in the 5K fun walk But I'm getting ahead of myself.
It was a overcast but otherwise fine fall morning. The temps were in the mid 70s. My wife had planned to run as well, but her recent illness made that impossible. Luckily, my 12 yo daughter did not have a cross country meet that day and the race officials were kind enough to let her run in my wife's place. I was really looking forward to spending the morning with her.
We set off and, as we had planned, my daughter took off ahead. My pace is about 15 mins per mile right now and, frankly, it would have been difficult for her to maintain such a slow place for 3.1 miles. I'm ok with that. I got about a half mile out before I realized I will not be able to keep pace with the other runners. And I was a little disheartened by that. I mean, who WANTS to be last? I tried my best not to think about it and focus on my game plan. Run 6 mins, walk 1.
The route took us through park trails, over bridges, along the river and, for a bit, along a busy street on a side walk. It really was a gorgeous day. And I did find myself enjoying the run for what it was...a chance to show to myself I could do it.
Then it happened. I got passed by a walker. A big, goofy guy speed walking just zipped past me like I wasn't there. I have to say it was more than a little embarrassing and I thought, for just a moment, to just pack it in. My first DNF. I was dead last and got passed by goofus. My arches were killing me. My back hurt. The route took us past a Mc Donald's (WTH? Why would a weight loss program route their race past a Mc Donald's. Really).
But I wasn't going to let my daughter down. We had planned that she would come back along the race and run my last half mile with me. I pushed forward, keeping to the game plan.
That goofus walker, I must concede, was about 6'2", had a stride twice as long as my own and had obviously trained to speedwalk. One could tell that from the efficiency of his motion. Every quarter mile he'd walk backwards exactly 15 steps. I don't know why. I do know that he passed at least two other runners besides myself. I wasn't so disheartened once that happened.
Dear daughter did meet me as planned. She had crossed the finish line second (unfortunately the race only allowed for clients to place) and was so excited. She ran with me, pushing me to push through. I could hear the other walkers finally gaining on me, with one 8 year old girl actually passing me for about 10 seconds, but then she got a side stitch and had to slow down (heh heh heh). I kicked it about 100 yards from the finish line and held my daughter's hand as we crossed the finish line at 42 minutes and 6 seconds.
I remember thinking at that moment just how happy I was to have done this and to have my daughter with me as I did. I also realized that I had done it for myself just as much as I stayed in there and not disappoint her.
Everyone got a participation medal that day, if they finished. I know it is dorky, but I wore mine with great pride. I didn't care if anyone stared at the grocery store or in the pharmacy. I am 40 years old, 120 pounds overweight, and I ran a 5K dammit.
The New Directions program at the local hospital is a medically supervised "rapid" weight loss program that I have been trying to follow for the last two years. It really is a good program when I choose to not sabotage myself. The merits of a medically supervised program certainly has its pros and cons. But that's not what is important right now. What is important is that every September the program holds a 5K fun run for its clients and their families
There were 12 runners this year. Of the twelve, I believe I was the only client to run that was still in "weight loss" mode. Others were either family or had made it to "maintenance" mode. It certainly seemed to me that I was the largest person to actually attempt to run. Now, last year it seemed that the runners included up to 30 runners and I placed pretty much mid pack. I was also 50 pounds lighter. How I gained weight while faithfully participating in a medically supervised "rapid" weight loss program is another story and isn't important right now. What is important is that this year, with only 12, I ran dead last. Most who ran last year chose instead to participate in the 5K fun walk But I'm getting ahead of myself.
It was a overcast but otherwise fine fall morning. The temps were in the mid 70s. My wife had planned to run as well, but her recent illness made that impossible. Luckily, my 12 yo daughter did not have a cross country meet that day and the race officials were kind enough to let her run in my wife's place. I was really looking forward to spending the morning with her.
We set off and, as we had planned, my daughter took off ahead. My pace is about 15 mins per mile right now and, frankly, it would have been difficult for her to maintain such a slow place for 3.1 miles. I'm ok with that. I got about a half mile out before I realized I will not be able to keep pace with the other runners. And I was a little disheartened by that. I mean, who WANTS to be last? I tried my best not to think about it and focus on my game plan. Run 6 mins, walk 1.
The route took us through park trails, over bridges, along the river and, for a bit, along a busy street on a side walk. It really was a gorgeous day. And I did find myself enjoying the run for what it was...a chance to show to myself I could do it.
Then it happened. I got passed by a walker. A big, goofy guy speed walking just zipped past me like I wasn't there. I have to say it was more than a little embarrassing and I thought, for just a moment, to just pack it in. My first DNF. I was dead last and got passed by goofus. My arches were killing me. My back hurt. The route took us past a Mc Donald's (WTH? Why would a weight loss program route their race past a Mc Donald's. Really).
But I wasn't going to let my daughter down. We had planned that she would come back along the race and run my last half mile with me. I pushed forward, keeping to the game plan.
That goofus walker, I must concede, was about 6'2", had a stride twice as long as my own and had obviously trained to speedwalk. One could tell that from the efficiency of his motion. Every quarter mile he'd walk backwards exactly 15 steps. I don't know why. I do know that he passed at least two other runners besides myself. I wasn't so disheartened once that happened.
Dear daughter did meet me as planned. She had crossed the finish line second (unfortunately the race only allowed for clients to place) and was so excited. She ran with me, pushing me to push through. I could hear the other walkers finally gaining on me, with one 8 year old girl actually passing me for about 10 seconds, but then she got a side stitch and had to slow down (heh heh heh). I kicked it about 100 yards from the finish line and held my daughter's hand as we crossed the finish line at 42 minutes and 6 seconds.
I remember thinking at that moment just how happy I was to have done this and to have my daughter with me as I did. I also realized that I had done it for myself just as much as I stayed in there and not disappoint her.
Everyone got a participation medal that day, if they finished. I know it is dorky, but I wore mine with great pride. I didn't care if anyone stared at the grocery store or in the pharmacy. I am 40 years old, 120 pounds overweight, and I ran a 5K dammit.
1/23/10
Clydesdale: Overweight Runners AKA Clydes
I am what runners call a Clydesdale. Seriously. I am too large to be pounding my knees and grinding what's left of my ankles. I don't even pretend to be a middle of the pack runner. My kids walk faster than I can jog. I am a big man.
But...
I am not as large as I once was. I have been working at becoming healthy over the last year and a half. Being told to drop 120 pounds or be dead by 50 (I'm 39) has certainly caught my attention. I've lost about half of what I needed to, then got sidetracked by a new medication that was 100% guaranteed to put weight back on. 20 pounds...in one month. That was last September and I'm still trying to shed myself of that memory as well has the pounds (and I'm no longer taking that med).
I would have never guessed just how much I could enjoy exercise, let alone running. Before I was a Clydesdale, I was a Couch Potato(e) beginning to go bad. Part of the reason why I became a librarian was to avoid hard work you know. Exercise meant sweating on purpose. Of course, I sweat anyway just getting up off the couch to go pop another bag of corn.
Then, the whole break a leg, discover a bad heart during surgery thing happened and the specter of an early departure from this world happened in early 2008. It took about another year to just be cleared to start an exercise program. By that time I had no money to do something expensive like a home gym from Chuck Norris. Running was the only thing I remotely found satisfying when I was younger, but I was terrified of ruining my beautiful knees.
Enter in the CoolRunning Couch to 5K program and DJ Beatsmith's Podrunner 1st Day to 5K mixes for my Mp3 player. I started jogging one minute at a stretch in May of 2009. By August I was running 30 minutes without collapsing. And I finished my first 5K race in October last fall.
Goal achieved.
Motivation lost.
Couch invites me back into it's warm embrace.
I'm doing my best to get back out there. My goal for 2010 is to run a 5K in June, July, August, and September of this year. I will be satisfied if I can achieve 50% of that modest plan, but I will fight to compete each month.
You're welcome to come along if you want.
But...
I am not as large as I once was. I have been working at becoming healthy over the last year and a half. Being told to drop 120 pounds or be dead by 50 (I'm 39) has certainly caught my attention. I've lost about half of what I needed to, then got sidetracked by a new medication that was 100% guaranteed to put weight back on. 20 pounds...in one month. That was last September and I'm still trying to shed myself of that memory as well has the pounds (and I'm no longer taking that med).
I would have never guessed just how much I could enjoy exercise, let alone running. Before I was a Clydesdale, I was a Couch Potato(e) beginning to go bad. Part of the reason why I became a librarian was to avoid hard work you know. Exercise meant sweating on purpose. Of course, I sweat anyway just getting up off the couch to go pop another bag of corn.
Then, the whole break a leg, discover a bad heart during surgery thing happened and the specter of an early departure from this world happened in early 2008. It took about another year to just be cleared to start an exercise program. By that time I had no money to do something expensive like a home gym from Chuck Norris. Running was the only thing I remotely found satisfying when I was younger, but I was terrified of ruining my beautiful knees.
Enter in the CoolRunning Couch to 5K program and DJ Beatsmith's Podrunner 1st Day to 5K mixes for my Mp3 player. I started jogging one minute at a stretch in May of 2009. By August I was running 30 minutes without collapsing. And I finished my first 5K race in October last fall.
Goal achieved.
Motivation lost.
Couch invites me back into it's warm embrace.
I'm doing my best to get back out there. My goal for 2010 is to run a 5K in June, July, August, and September of this year. I will be satisfied if I can achieve 50% of that modest plan, but I will fight to compete each month.
You're welcome to come along if you want.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
LinkWithin
