Conversations in my Head

Hello Kevin

You're not Left Hand Guy

No, I'm not

I expected Left Hand Guy.  When the post is titled Conversations in My Head, people expect Left Hand Guy

He's not real you know

Yeah, but its fun and it's been a useful device.  So, who are you?

I'm Kevin

Um. Yeah.  LHG was me too. How are you any different?

I am Kevin.

You said that

And it's true

So... what's going on. Am I on Candid Camera?

Do you remember what you wrote in your last post?  About realizing there is something inside you that is at the same time Human and Divine?

Of course I do.  That was a difficult post to share.

I am that part of you.  I am the divine fire burning inside you.  I am Kevin.

I...I...Just where the hell have you been?  I'm nearly 43 years old?  How come it's taken that long for you to show up?  Why did it take so long for me to realize you were there?

Because you didn't want to find me.

Wha??  Have you read The Jogging Clydesdale?  What is this on-line journal if not a search for you?

You didn't want to find me.  You wanted to argue with LHG.  You wanted to be Thin Me.  You could only see Fat Me.  You wanted to deal with those things you thought you could fix; the parts you thought you could overcome if only you understood. You ran from me at every opportunity.  You wanted to hate me.  You did everything you could to not love me.  But, more importantly, you refused to let me love you. 

And now that you've seen a glimpse of me.....of you.....we're going to spend a lot more time together.  And we will go places you never dreamed you'd go.

I am Kevin, the Jogging Clydesdale.  Husband. Father. Son. Brother. Friend. Me.
I have always been here.  Waiting.  Watching.  Caring.  Loving.  Being.  I am here in the deepest layers.  I'm in the places I was afraid to go.  But look, there is no darkness here.  There is only me.  And I am good.  
I am real.
I am strong.

I just am.