I asked my wife something last night. I asked her for help.It's no secret that I've been struggling with this weight loss thing. True, I have given up the whole end goal thing , but that doesn't mean I can't do as I please in the present. I've been stuck between 280 and 290 for about 6 months. I could give a lot of excuses, but really it's all here in this blog and I don't think I need to rehash it. The upshot is, I want to find a way out of this plateau.
One thing that I struggle with is that no one in this household is doing this with me. Well, in spirit and compassion, yes. But they all get to keep eating those marvelous carbs. And it has to be that way. When my kids are running 25 to 35 miles a week, they need those calories. The thing I struggle with is no one else has had to give up something. In my darker moments, I will cave with a certain resentment-logic...since I have to deprive myself when no one else has to so I'm just going to go ahead and have that piece of cake and dang them all to heck.
And then, the inevitable shame and punishment. It was time to do something different.
Last night, I asked my wife for help. I asked her to give something up. I wasn't sure if I should have asked...or if I had the right to ask it. But there has never been any question of her support. So, after a long conversation, this is our plan: she is giving up soft candy, including chocolate. And she is giving up pasta. And if I make a lo carb meal that she can stomach, she'll eat what I eat for the evening meal.
And, when I slip, I owe her an Almond Joy.
I don't know if it will work, but I have to say that the feeling that I am not alone...in a real, tangible way...on this journey is a relief. I now feel as if someone very close to me is on the path with me, rather than cheering from the sideline. As much as I love a appreciate my cheerleaders, I do feel as if a missing piece has fallen into place.
By the way, this morning, on my way home from church, I bought her an Almond Joy. Dammit.
I think the one thing that might help you to realize that you aren't really giving up anything...is to say, I can have whatever I want...I just want something else more. You can have cake. You just want to be healthy more..and if you want to get turned off to white flour...put some in a plastic bowl..add water...shmear it around the bowl..let it sit for four hours till it dries and hardens...and then try to chip it off...and that is what you intestines must look like. That turned me off white flour but good.
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