A Clydesdale Carol, Part 3

(part 2 here)

Terry, the Ghost of Weight Loss Past and Kevin landed in a darkened room not unlike a movie theater.  It wasn't a real movie theater; more like one of those home theaters wealthy people have in their million dollar homes.  Kevin looked around.

"Where are we?" he asked. "I don't remember anything like this."

Terry smiled.  "We're at my house.  Ghosting pays pretty well these days.  Had this built in 2005 and just upgraded the system to 3D last month."

"But why are we here?" Kevin asked.

"Because you have too much past to get through.  We're going to need to do something like a montage but more like a slideshow.  Otherwise this bit's going to take 8 more parts.  Now sit down."

The lights dimmed further, and a picture formed on the screen of a young man on a stage.  Somewhere in the back a cheesy 80s style song started to play.

"That's me in college," Kevin said.  "We were performing Flowers for Algernon.  I played Charlie.  I remember watching the video and I could not get over how slim I looked.  I had gotten back to my high school weight of 185 and my pants were 32.  I kept talking about it during the screening to the point people started telling me to shut up.  But I was very proud."

Click.  A picture of a plate with food piled high.

"What's that?" asked Terry.  "You go off the deep end?"

"No. I know exactly what that is.  Mom and dad visited me at college over Thanksgiving.  They came from the buffet with their plates overflowing with food.  I found myself being disgusted, almost sick, by how much they were eating.  I remember being very ashamed.  I had gotten used to smaller portions, see.  There was space between all my food.  Dad's was all mixing together.  I thought to myself I'd never eat like my parents again."

Click.  A plate of onion rings appears.

"That's Charlie's, the truck stop we went to in college.  We'd go at 3 in the morning.  I'd wake up my room mate, Garrison Ward, and make him go with me.  It was either onion rings or french fries dipped in mayo."

"Mayo? As in mayonnaise?" asked Terry.

"Yeah.  Picked it up in Europe.  It's really not as bad as you'd think.  If we didn't go to the truck stop, it was Druber's donut shop for donuts and burritos.  We used to laugh at the obese ladies there.  I guess the jokes on me."

"You gained your Freshman Fifteen then?"

"Yeah," said Kevin.  "But I did it my Sophomore year."

Click.  A radio station control room.

"That's the NPR station I worked at on weekends as a staff announcer.  I was married by then and the pounds were starting to pile back on.  I used to order a medium sausage and green olive pizza and eat the whole thing by the time my shift was over at 2 in the morning."

Just then the piercing sound of Shania Twain's Man! I Feel Like a Woman reverberated in the theater.

"Excuse me," said Terry as he opened up his cell phone.  "Ghost of Weight Loss Past, Incorporated, Terry speaking.  Yeah... Yeah...  A banana?...  Really?... Ok. I'll tell him."

"What was that all about?" asked Kevin.

"That was your room mate Garrison.  He read part 2 and was not happy.  He said that you told him you lost all that weight by walking to the store and eating a banana for lunch.  He said you even made him walk with you to the store to buy a banana once during college.  He said you never told him you started running before college.  He feels betrayed," Terry said.  "Did you really tell him you lost weight by walking and eating a banana every day?"

"I must have done," said Kevin.  "I don't remember it though.  It's kinda weird he called you, isn't it?  How'd he get your number?"

"Preliminary background checks.  It's pretty standard in the industry to interview many people from client's past before we let the client know he or she is a client," said Terry. "I left him my card."

"Ah, I see.  Well, it's possible I did do that, except it's more likely I ate a banana while on a walk during my lunch hour at the store.  I did that pretty regular that summer.  If I stayed at the store, I tended to keep eating."

"Why don't you do that now?" asked Terry.  "Wait, never mind.  That's what Barry should be asking you."

"Who is Barry?"

"Barry is the Ghost of Weight Loss Present," said Terry.

"Oh."

"Well, look," said Terry. "We're making good time here.  I need to step out a moment and powder my nose.  When I get back, we'll start on part 4, ok?"

Terry left the room while Kevin sang along to Don't You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds.

"I need to call Garrison," he thought, just as the song ended.  He imagined himself as Judd Nelson and punched the air with his fist.