But oh that magic feelin'...

I'm gettin' that antsy feeling.  The one you get when you know you're finally approaching the decision you know you want to make but for whatever reason you avoid it.  The one where you say to yourself, 'time to get healthy' and know you actually mean it this time.

I'm getting there.

Mrs. C's new regimen is doing wonders.  I cannot believe the improvement we are experiencing in only a week's time after 3 months of illness--spirit crushing illness.  The atmosphere in the stable is palpably lighter and there is laughter.  And I feel renewed.

Much of what brought so much stress in the last half of '09 through the fall of '10 has finally found its way to closure--and the friendship that was lost no longer troubles me.  I know it's a bit cryptic, but no one enjoys it when a friendship disintegrates, especially if it was for circumstances beyond one's control; especially if it needed to happen to protect one's boundaries.  I will need to live with the knowledge that the other party places the overwhelming majority of the problem at my feet and will never consider his own failure.  But given our last chance encounter, I find myself untroubled.  That chapter is closed.

Life certainly ain't perfect and I do have problems focusing on the goal.  I did stop by the 7-11 for chips and dip, knowing it was a mistake.  But it feels like my subconscious is trying to get in a few last hurrahs.

This isn't a "well, I'll start tomorrow" kinda thing knowing tomorrow never comes.  I'm not sure when I will start.  But I feel like the knots in life are unraveling and the clarity is returning.