Heat damaged thoughts

After another week of stalling, I did get out there yesterday evening and run.  It was 92 degrees (heat index was 96) with a bright, hot sun.  Given that my county was under a heat advisory and given that I am 100 pounds overweight, it probably wasn't the smartest thing to do.  But, the first couple of weeks on the Couch to 5K program are not at all very strenuous.  In fact, I do believe I walked more than I plodded.


I wish it were easier to stay on program.  I know we all struggle from time to time with the discipline to get out there and exercise.  I am no different.  I wish the benefits gained by running were instantaneous.  I wish I could get on the scales right after running and find I've lost 10 pounds.  I wish I could visibly see my blood pressure decrease, my stress abate.  I wish a lot of things.  I wish it weren't so easy to make excuses to one's self as to why there is no time to get out there and do it.  The hard truth is, no one is going to make you except yourself.

What a bunch of blather.  As if I'm saying anything new.

No, the truth is I don't want to go out there and work and sweat and feel lousy and hurt and tire.  I don't want to feel as if I have to.  I want to want to.  And yet, there is a growing spark deep down inside that I hear when I am still, whispering to me shadows of that desire. Will I allow myself to listen for that spark or will I try to bury it as I have all these years?

Despite the heat, it was a wonderful jog.  I covered about 2 miles altogether and felt so spent when it was all over.  You know, that good kind of spent.  My wife joined me this time and we had a chance to catch up on each others' lives a bit.  Personally, I was glad she came along as she's an RN and would know what to do if I collapsed in a heap from the heat.  I made her carry the cell phone.  ;^)